SOOPER--CUUL

Is there anything worse than those super trendy city kids?? You know.. the real New Yorkers.. The ones who move here from Ohio or West Virginia and start over as super cool native New Yorkers... It seems these days a guy puts on a pair of skinny jeans and a scarf and he automatically becomes a cool cat. What about the ones who take 3 hours to make sure they look like they just threw their outfit on.. like the girl with the perfectly mismatched socks, or the kid with the Vintage Tshirt with the Hawaiian Punch guy on it that cost 75 dollars.

Call me crazy, but I take pride in the fact that I've had the same style since 1998..
Last summer I tried on an Ed Hardy shirt.. Not for me.. Skinny Jeans just aren't gonna happen, and well.. I'm not spending 75 bucks on a vintage T when If I just wait a couple of years, I'll have a bunch for free.

I walk down the street lately, and one guy's hair is funkier than the next..I don't get it... To me, if you're going to look like you're in a band, you should be in a band.

And what's the age cut off for these guys to be dressing like this?? I think we should forget about health care for a minute, and pass a law that if you're over 30 and have the same wardrobe as Justin Bieber, you should be taxed. We can call it the Douche-reform tax...

As for the women.. There's not really an age issue, but rather a weight issue.. If you're built like Rosie O'donnell, please come to grips with it and burn your Pussycat Doll clothes. Us men don't need that image ruining our day..

As for me.. I'll stick with my jeans and a button down. Nice and easy..

I gotta go.

R.I.P. R.A.P.

Call me Mr. Flintstone.. I can make your Bed-Rock..

Haaaa.. Everyone head for cover, because when Biggie starts turning in his grave, there's gonna be a massive earthquake. It's official. Rap sucks.. You can thank guys like lil Wayne and Gudda.. Even Puffy knows it.. He has to, because when I watched his SON'S sweet 16 the other day on MTV, he kept pumping up the "mystery performers".. Speculation included Jay-Z and Eminem.. But no. It was Trey Songs and Nicki Minaj.. Basically a couple of broke ass Black Rob and Lil Kim impersonators.

So if you saw Puffy's SON'S Sweet 16, you may have been asking yourself the same thing I was.. Who told this kid he's the prince of NY?? Because someone must have. Probably his dad. Well I have news for Justin.. There's a lot of rich people in NY.. And they all have sons. Just because you're arrogant enough to self proclaim yourself the prince, and just because your dad is a big enough douche to throw you a sweet 16 rather than teach you how not to be a pompous ass, doesn't make you the prince. It makes you a tool. So take your chauffer driven Maybach and beat it.

So Dancing with The Stars started last night, and it looks like Pamela Anderson is going to win.. Wait wait... I mean it looks like Pamela Anderson is on a lot of drugs. It also looks like she's banging her dancing partner.. It was actually a little uncomfortable.

So half way through the show I realized something was missing.. Samantha!! You know, the half retard they always had talk to the "stars" right after they dance and
ask them questions that don't make any sense... I guess they finally realized that she couldn't put a sentence together, and gave her the boot... It's too bad, because she was fun to hate on.. I'm gonna miss that goofy little dingbat...

Its good to be back.. but I gotta go..

Sellebrities.

What does the word "celebrity" mean anymore? These reality shows put the word celebrity in from of them to try and draw viewers in, and when you really look at it, IT'S A BIG SCAM.. OK there may be 1 or 2 people that you may find interesting, but let's take a look.

1.Celebrity Rehab:
-"Former" Alice in Chains bassist Mike Starr - First of all, when you like a band, who cares about the bassist? 2nd of all, who cares about its FORMER bassist??

-Joey Kovar - from MTV's Real World Hollywood. 4 episodes of MTV's Real World Hollywood ..and that's it. How did they land him?
-Mindy Mcready - A country singer who never made it. Except if you count making it to Roger Clemens bedroom.

That's pretty bad.... now lets look at -

2.Celebrity Apprentice:

-Comedian Carol Liefer--???-- fired the first episode for not being famous enough.
-Ex female wrestler Maria Kanellis - Ex-Female Wrestler.. That's it.
-Selita Ebanks - The one Victoria Secret model you've never heard of.

3.Celebrity fit club:

I can't even list these people. The only borderline celebrity they had was Screech.. That should say enough.

What I wanna know is this. Aren't these people embarrassed to even be called a celebrity? Shouldn't these people be getting real jobs by now? Real paying jobs?

In actuality, these people are jobless fools.. A blemish on society... Washed up in their original profession of choice.
It's ridiculous...But I watch it all.


Just a real quick hate...
Dennis Quaid in the movie Frequency has the worst Queens accent of all time. Does he really think that's how we sound?? Wait..is that how we sound?? I don't know.. It just really sucks, and if I sound like that, someone come here and kick me in the face.

D-BAG List.

I'm going to try something different today..

Here's a list of people in no particular order who I consider douche bags. I'd love for you guys to add to it..

1. People who whistle in a confined area with other people around (ex. an elevator, or a public bathroom)
2. People who use words like Uber, Quasi, or Whom.
3. The guy at work who, even though he's not hungry, stockpiles the free bagels and stuff like we're going to war.
4. Anyone who talks in a movie theater.
5. Salesmen at Men's Wearhouse
6. Guys that wear jeans and sandals.
7. People who stand right behind you on line as if someone is going to slip in to the inch of space between you.
8. Guys who talk to you while you are both standing at urinals.
9. People who get offended by things like The Jersey Shore, or other forms of entertainment.
10. People who walk into the middle of a private conversation and say, "what are we talking about??"
11. People who say "bye" in a different language. (ex. ciao, hasta la vista)
12. People who don't say thanks when you:
- hold the door for them.
- let their car in front of you
- say "god bless you"
13. Guys in shoes with no socks.
14. People who start a conversation just because they have something they wanna brag about.. (ex. hey do you go to the gym?? Oh how much do you bench? I bench 350)
15. Guys who are so cool, nothing is funny to them.
16. Girls that are so cool, nothing is funny to them.

I could go on for hours, but I wanna hear about douche bags you encounter. Please comment.

The Lost Boy

Well it was only a matter of time.. I'm sure if you would have asked him, he'd be surprised he made it this far.. But Corey Haim is dead. I'm not going to hate on him, because he was in some of the best movies of my childhood.. Lucas? Great. License to Drive? Awesome . The Lost Boys?? I don't even have to say..

In the 80's, the better looking and cooler half of the 2 Coreys had it all.. He got all the women.. He dated pretty much any girl you dreamed of in the mid to late 80's... He had money coming out of his ass.. He had a house in the hills and was always driven around in a limo.. But most of all he had drugs. Heroin, Cocaine, Crack.. You name it..

And to go along with the drugs, money and women, he had a cocky asshole attitude... An attitude that got him thrown out of Hollywood when no one would work with him. When it was all gone, so was Corey.. He was washed up before he was 20. He tried to make a bunch of comebacks, but he looked like someone who spent millions on drugs and alcohol, which is exactly what he did.

Then like 10 years later, his old buddy Corey Feldman tried to clean him up for a reunion show called, what else, "The Two Coreys". I know I was excited to see it. It wasn't so great, but I was kind of rooting for Corey to make it. Even though he was a mess, he was a like able mess.

But like I said before, it was only a matter of time.. That guy lived hard, partied hard, and Im sure he died hard. Maybe a girl like Lindsay Lohan should be less concerned with suing Etrade, and more concerned with this story.

My own brother, a goddamn, shit-sucking vampire. You wait 'till mom finds out, buddy!

SOME TV REALLY SUCKS......

Is it me, or is the old fashioned format for a sit-com just not working anymore??
I don't understand how people still find shows like "2 and 1/2 men" and "The Big Bang Theory" entertaining.. One guy talks, the other guy says something, and the first guy comes back with a witty joke. Fake audience laughter. That's the format... It continues for a half hour. I'm gonna puke.

I've tried because people tell me how funny these shows are, but I just can't bring myself to the laugh at a nerdy star trek guy who, overacts and does wacky faces to make me laugh.. It actually makes me mad. These shows are insulting to my intelligence. Its just really amazing what garbage is on TV...

Speaking of overacting, does anyone else hate Vincent D'Onofrio? You know the stuffed sausage from "Law and Order : Criminal Intent"? Oh my god.. I'd rather stab myself in the eyeballs than watch him overact his "un-orthodox" style of police-work... Who's the genius behind this one? Is there some moronic director of this show who tells him to act like that, or has he just convinced the powers that be over at the show to just let the cameras run and let him do his thing?? I wanna know who watches this and leaves feeling fulfilled by quality programming.. Seriously.. Let me know.

Finally, I watched Jay Leno the other day.. Hooooooo Man. That show sucks. The comedy is from 1996 and It might as well be a porno, because all Jay Leno does is suck his guests off for an hour. Hey Leno.. I'd like to tell you that the old "Bill Clinton cheats on his wife" joke is OVER!!! And you know what else bro?? So is the "George Bush is dumb" joke!! Isn't there some kind of comedy expiration date where you can't use president jokes after they're out of office?? It just doesn't work! Oh and one more thing.. I get it.. People are dumb in California.. You're Jay Walking segment was funny the first 90,000 times you did it.. Not any more man.. Not any more... Get some new stuff please. Make believe you deserve to be back in the spot you stole from Conan.

I wonder what kind of dirt that big chinned Loaf has on the execs at NBC that they just bow at the altar of Leno... What do you think?

I gotta go.

THE OSCARS.

The movie industry is ridiculous. They really think people care so much that we would sit through that entire ceremony of bullshit last night... The Oscars are boring.. While we're not watching all of these stars march in the ass kissing parade called the red carpet, we're watching them give awards out that no one cares about.. Does it really have to take 3 and a half hours to give out a couple of trophies?? Did you guys notice the way they had a different person come out to announce the nominees for each best actor and actress?? Come on.. get over yourselves.. Do we really need to see who wins best animated short foreign documentary?

Let me know when there's going to be an award show that Doogie Howser doesn't do a musical act... He performed at the Magicians awards this year!! Seriously.

Maybe it's just me but I'm sick of Precious.. yeah its a good movie and all, but enough with her whole "fat and sassy" act.

So Sandra Bullock won the award for best actress.. I really think she deserved it.. It was her time.. She really paid her dues and went unnoticed for so long with her classic roles in movies like "The Net" and "Miss Congeniality 2".. Please.. If I was an actor who lost to Sandra Bullock in an acting contest, I would become a chef.. Because clearly I would be in the wrong profession.

There should be a law regulating the amount of red carpet footage networks are allowed to show.. Its really ridiculous. That guy with the silver hair on E! is wack.. You know the one who looks like MAx Headroom's gay latin cousin?? He needs to relax. OK man.. we get it.. You're stylish.. You're so much more fashionable than everyone else.. You know so much more about couture than me.. Big F'n Deal.. The sun is still going to come up tomorrow if Cameron Diaz doesn't look good in her Armani, or if Sarah Jessica Parker isn't wearing Manolos.. This guy acts like he's splitting atoms or something..

I gotta go.