SOOPER--CUUL

Is there anything worse than those super trendy city kids?? You know.. the real New Yorkers.. The ones who move here from Ohio or West Virginia and start over as super cool native New Yorkers... It seems these days a guy puts on a pair of skinny jeans and a scarf and he automatically becomes a cool cat. What about the ones who take 3 hours to make sure they look like they just threw their outfit on.. like the girl with the perfectly mismatched socks, or the kid with the Vintage Tshirt with the Hawaiian Punch guy on it that cost 75 dollars.

Call me crazy, but I take pride in the fact that I've had the same style since 1998..
Last summer I tried on an Ed Hardy shirt.. Not for me.. Skinny Jeans just aren't gonna happen, and well.. I'm not spending 75 bucks on a vintage T when If I just wait a couple of years, I'll have a bunch for free.

I walk down the street lately, and one guy's hair is funkier than the next..I don't get it... To me, if you're going to look like you're in a band, you should be in a band.

And what's the age cut off for these guys to be dressing like this?? I think we should forget about health care for a minute, and pass a law that if you're over 30 and have the same wardrobe as Justin Bieber, you should be taxed. We can call it the Douche-reform tax...

As for the women.. There's not really an age issue, but rather a weight issue.. If you're built like Rosie O'donnell, please come to grips with it and burn your Pussycat Doll clothes. Us men don't need that image ruining our day..

As for me.. I'll stick with my jeans and a button down. Nice and easy..

I gotta go.

R.I.P. R.A.P.

Call me Mr. Flintstone.. I can make your Bed-Rock..

Haaaa.. Everyone head for cover, because when Biggie starts turning in his grave, there's gonna be a massive earthquake. It's official. Rap sucks.. You can thank guys like lil Wayne and Gudda.. Even Puffy knows it.. He has to, because when I watched his SON'S sweet 16 the other day on MTV, he kept pumping up the "mystery performers".. Speculation included Jay-Z and Eminem.. But no. It was Trey Songs and Nicki Minaj.. Basically a couple of broke ass Black Rob and Lil Kim impersonators.

So if you saw Puffy's SON'S Sweet 16, you may have been asking yourself the same thing I was.. Who told this kid he's the prince of NY?? Because someone must have. Probably his dad. Well I have news for Justin.. There's a lot of rich people in NY.. And they all have sons. Just because you're arrogant enough to self proclaim yourself the prince, and just because your dad is a big enough douche to throw you a sweet 16 rather than teach you how not to be a pompous ass, doesn't make you the prince. It makes you a tool. So take your chauffer driven Maybach and beat it.

So Dancing with The Stars started last night, and it looks like Pamela Anderson is going to win.. Wait wait... I mean it looks like Pamela Anderson is on a lot of drugs. It also looks like she's banging her dancing partner.. It was actually a little uncomfortable.

So half way through the show I realized something was missing.. Samantha!! You know, the half retard they always had talk to the "stars" right after they dance and
ask them questions that don't make any sense... I guess they finally realized that she couldn't put a sentence together, and gave her the boot... It's too bad, because she was fun to hate on.. I'm gonna miss that goofy little dingbat...

Its good to be back.. but I gotta go..

Sellebrities.

What does the word "celebrity" mean anymore? These reality shows put the word celebrity in from of them to try and draw viewers in, and when you really look at it, IT'S A BIG SCAM.. OK there may be 1 or 2 people that you may find interesting, but let's take a look.

1.Celebrity Rehab:
-"Former" Alice in Chains bassist Mike Starr - First of all, when you like a band, who cares about the bassist? 2nd of all, who cares about its FORMER bassist??

-Joey Kovar - from MTV's Real World Hollywood. 4 episodes of MTV's Real World Hollywood ..and that's it. How did they land him?
-Mindy Mcready - A country singer who never made it. Except if you count making it to Roger Clemens bedroom.

That's pretty bad.... now lets look at -

2.Celebrity Apprentice:

-Comedian Carol Liefer--???-- fired the first episode for not being famous enough.
-Ex female wrestler Maria Kanellis - Ex-Female Wrestler.. That's it.
-Selita Ebanks - The one Victoria Secret model you've never heard of.

3.Celebrity fit club:

I can't even list these people. The only borderline celebrity they had was Screech.. That should say enough.

What I wanna know is this. Aren't these people embarrassed to even be called a celebrity? Shouldn't these people be getting real jobs by now? Real paying jobs?

In actuality, these people are jobless fools.. A blemish on society... Washed up in their original profession of choice.
It's ridiculous...But I watch it all.


Just a real quick hate...
Dennis Quaid in the movie Frequency has the worst Queens accent of all time. Does he really think that's how we sound?? Wait..is that how we sound?? I don't know.. It just really sucks, and if I sound like that, someone come here and kick me in the face.

D-BAG List.

I'm going to try something different today..

Here's a list of people in no particular order who I consider douche bags. I'd love for you guys to add to it..

1. People who whistle in a confined area with other people around (ex. an elevator, or a public bathroom)
2. People who use words like Uber, Quasi, or Whom.
3. The guy at work who, even though he's not hungry, stockpiles the free bagels and stuff like we're going to war.
4. Anyone who talks in a movie theater.
5. Salesmen at Men's Wearhouse
6. Guys that wear jeans and sandals.
7. People who stand right behind you on line as if someone is going to slip in to the inch of space between you.
8. Guys who talk to you while you are both standing at urinals.
9. People who get offended by things like The Jersey Shore, or other forms of entertainment.
10. People who walk into the middle of a private conversation and say, "what are we talking about??"
11. People who say "bye" in a different language. (ex. ciao, hasta la vista)
12. People who don't say thanks when you:
- hold the door for them.
- let their car in front of you
- say "god bless you"
13. Guys in shoes with no socks.
14. People who start a conversation just because they have something they wanna brag about.. (ex. hey do you go to the gym?? Oh how much do you bench? I bench 350)
15. Guys who are so cool, nothing is funny to them.
16. Girls that are so cool, nothing is funny to them.

I could go on for hours, but I wanna hear about douche bags you encounter. Please comment.

The Lost Boy

Well it was only a matter of time.. I'm sure if you would have asked him, he'd be surprised he made it this far.. But Corey Haim is dead. I'm not going to hate on him, because he was in some of the best movies of my childhood.. Lucas? Great. License to Drive? Awesome . The Lost Boys?? I don't even have to say..

In the 80's, the better looking and cooler half of the 2 Coreys had it all.. He got all the women.. He dated pretty much any girl you dreamed of in the mid to late 80's... He had money coming out of his ass.. He had a house in the hills and was always driven around in a limo.. But most of all he had drugs. Heroin, Cocaine, Crack.. You name it..

And to go along with the drugs, money and women, he had a cocky asshole attitude... An attitude that got him thrown out of Hollywood when no one would work with him. When it was all gone, so was Corey.. He was washed up before he was 20. He tried to make a bunch of comebacks, but he looked like someone who spent millions on drugs and alcohol, which is exactly what he did.

Then like 10 years later, his old buddy Corey Feldman tried to clean him up for a reunion show called, what else, "The Two Coreys". I know I was excited to see it. It wasn't so great, but I was kind of rooting for Corey to make it. Even though he was a mess, he was a like able mess.

But like I said before, it was only a matter of time.. That guy lived hard, partied hard, and Im sure he died hard. Maybe a girl like Lindsay Lohan should be less concerned with suing Etrade, and more concerned with this story.

My own brother, a goddamn, shit-sucking vampire. You wait 'till mom finds out, buddy!

SOME TV REALLY SUCKS......

Is it me, or is the old fashioned format for a sit-com just not working anymore??
I don't understand how people still find shows like "2 and 1/2 men" and "The Big Bang Theory" entertaining.. One guy talks, the other guy says something, and the first guy comes back with a witty joke. Fake audience laughter. That's the format... It continues for a half hour. I'm gonna puke.

I've tried because people tell me how funny these shows are, but I just can't bring myself to the laugh at a nerdy star trek guy who, overacts and does wacky faces to make me laugh.. It actually makes me mad. These shows are insulting to my intelligence. Its just really amazing what garbage is on TV...

Speaking of overacting, does anyone else hate Vincent D'Onofrio? You know the stuffed sausage from "Law and Order : Criminal Intent"? Oh my god.. I'd rather stab myself in the eyeballs than watch him overact his "un-orthodox" style of police-work... Who's the genius behind this one? Is there some moronic director of this show who tells him to act like that, or has he just convinced the powers that be over at the show to just let the cameras run and let him do his thing?? I wanna know who watches this and leaves feeling fulfilled by quality programming.. Seriously.. Let me know.

Finally, I watched Jay Leno the other day.. Hooooooo Man. That show sucks. The comedy is from 1996 and It might as well be a porno, because all Jay Leno does is suck his guests off for an hour. Hey Leno.. I'd like to tell you that the old "Bill Clinton cheats on his wife" joke is OVER!!! And you know what else bro?? So is the "George Bush is dumb" joke!! Isn't there some kind of comedy expiration date where you can't use president jokes after they're out of office?? It just doesn't work! Oh and one more thing.. I get it.. People are dumb in California.. You're Jay Walking segment was funny the first 90,000 times you did it.. Not any more man.. Not any more... Get some new stuff please. Make believe you deserve to be back in the spot you stole from Conan.

I wonder what kind of dirt that big chinned Loaf has on the execs at NBC that they just bow at the altar of Leno... What do you think?

I gotta go.

THE OSCARS.

The movie industry is ridiculous. They really think people care so much that we would sit through that entire ceremony of bullshit last night... The Oscars are boring.. While we're not watching all of these stars march in the ass kissing parade called the red carpet, we're watching them give awards out that no one cares about.. Does it really have to take 3 and a half hours to give out a couple of trophies?? Did you guys notice the way they had a different person come out to announce the nominees for each best actor and actress?? Come on.. get over yourselves.. Do we really need to see who wins best animated short foreign documentary?

Let me know when there's going to be an award show that Doogie Howser doesn't do a musical act... He performed at the Magicians awards this year!! Seriously.

Maybe it's just me but I'm sick of Precious.. yeah its a good movie and all, but enough with her whole "fat and sassy" act.

So Sandra Bullock won the award for best actress.. I really think she deserved it.. It was her time.. She really paid her dues and went unnoticed for so long with her classic roles in movies like "The Net" and "Miss Congeniality 2".. Please.. If I was an actor who lost to Sandra Bullock in an acting contest, I would become a chef.. Because clearly I would be in the wrong profession.

There should be a law regulating the amount of red carpet footage networks are allowed to show.. Its really ridiculous. That guy with the silver hair on E! is wack.. You know the one who looks like MAx Headroom's gay latin cousin?? He needs to relax. OK man.. we get it.. You're stylish.. You're so much more fashionable than everyone else.. You know so much more about couture than me.. Big F'n Deal.. The sun is still going to come up tomorrow if Cameron Diaz doesn't look good in her Armani, or if Sarah Jessica Parker isn't wearing Manolos.. This guy acts like he's splitting atoms or something..

I gotta go.

REALLY??

When Luke Wilson wakes up this morning he needs to do 2 things. 1. Fire his agent/manager.. 2. Cut the salt out of his diet.

The paunchy pitchman for AT&T is like a Hannah Montana concert.. SOLD OUT.. Girls used to think he was cute.. Guys thought he was funny. Now he's just a notch below the "can you hear me now??" guy.



Here's the problem with these commercials.. Not only are they making Luke Wilson look like an actor so desperate for money that he resorts to these ads, but up until yesterday, I didn't know they were for AT&T. I just know them as those fat Luke Wilson commercials. So the question is, What has Luke been doing with his cash? Drugs? Alcohol? Double Bacon Cheeseburgers?? My guess is all of the above.

So throughout the commercials, he says the name of U.S. cities and says things like, "dated a girl there..." Actually Luke, I don't care.. Why is watching a bloated washed up sell out actor telling me about all the girls he banged gonna make me buy a cell phone plan?

Who at AT&T took a look at Luke Wilson's swollen, pasty face and decided, "THIS GUY CAN SELL PHONES!!!"???

I'd like to know.

Oh and here's a question.. Am I the only person who: A. Hated "The Blindside"?
B. Can't believe "The Blindside" is nominated for Best Picture?? and C.Thought "The Blindside" sucked???..

Whats up with that?? Everyone is saying Sandra Bullock is going to win best actress!! Really?? Best Actress?? Maybe they made a mistake and they meant best wig award, because the only difference between this character and every other character she ever played was blond hair... Am I missing something?

I have so much to hate on about this movie, that I kind of hope it wins the Oscar this weekend.

NICE HAIR TIM MCGRAW.

I gotta go.

Movies movies movies movies movies movies mooooooooovies...

What do you get when you mix 12 delusional actors with a horrible script and throw in Ashton Kutcher??

You get VALENTINE'S DAY!!!! Wow.. Never in my life have I seen anything even remotely close to being this bad. That's what happens when you get a star studded cast full of people who are famous, not for their talent, but for hype and physical appearance..

OK I know I shouldn't take a romantic "comedy" too seriously to begin with, but come on... The problem with this movie is that when each character is on the screen, they act like they're doing you a favor..

Someone needs to tell Ashton Kutcher that he's not still 20 years old, and that goofy idiot thing doesn't work anymore..Maybe his mom/wife Demi can tell him. It's like watching Urkel in the later episodes of "Family Matters", or Screech in "Saved by the Bell: The College Years".

From here on out I'm going to live by a new policy... Avoid any movie with Topher Grace in it. I think that will help me cut down some of the crap I see.

Here's a bonus trivia question.. What is Topher short for?? Prepare to cringe as you find out the answer..

Speaking of stupid names.. This is something I've always hated.. The "singer" Willa Ford.. Her real name is Amanda Willaford. So basically she got her stage name by splitting her last name in two. Oye.

The legacy of "The Karate Kid" has been put in a body bag. One of the true great movies of the 80's is being remade and due out sometime this summer. Well, there goes that memory. With Jackie Chan as Mr. Myagi, and Will Smith's prematurely douchey son as the main character, this movie sucks before it's even been released. The original was good because it was not only a great karate movie, but it was a great high school movie..

What's this new piece of crap gonna be without William Zabka, ELizabeth Shue and Chad McQueen, known better as Johnny, Alli, and Dutch?????

I leave you with a few memorable Quotes..
Fear does not exist in this dojo does it?? --NO SENSEI!!
Pain does not exist in this dojo does it?? --NO SENSEI!!
Defeat does not exist in this dojo does it?? --NO SENSEI!!
STRIKE FIRST. STRIKE HARD. NO MERCY SIR!!!!

I gotta go.. Sweep the leg.

U.S.A. (U Stuck-up A**holes)

American Idol sucks so bad that I've just been watching the news.


So an air traffic controller took his son to work and let him tell the pilots which runways to use.. BIG DEAL!!!! If you listen to the news, they would have you think the kid was all by himself smoking a cigarette drinking a coffee and directing air traffic. That's not how it went down. This world has really have to take the stick out of its ass. Having your son relay a message to pilots, that you as an experienced air traffic controller carefully worked out, is not front page news worthy. In my opinion, if anything, it's a good thing because if generates interest in the profession, and gives the kid something to want to do career-wise. But NOOOOOOOOOO.... The media has to take a perfectly innocent act, and portray it as if its a matter of national security.. Seriously... Whether you're complaining about this, or you're complaining about one of the other million things people find to complain about these days, YOU NEED TO RELAX.. Because when it comes down to it, nobody cares.. You'll be in the news for a day or two and when your issue doesn't sell papers anymore, or generate ratings anymore, NO ONE WILL LISTEN TO YOU ANYMORE!!!!


But on the other hand, you know who doesn't need to relax?? Whoever these people are who keep getting bitch slapped by Naomi Campbell!!! These people need to find their self-respect. I'll tell you one thing, I respect women as much as the next guy, but if I'm driving Naomi Campbell around for a living, and out of nowhere I get clocked in the back of the head with her cell phone because she's having a bad day, she better run.. I'd hit that bitch so hard she'd be cat walking sideways.. Who does she think she is? Stone Cold Steve Austin?? Opening cans of whoop-ass on anyone who works for her?? What could be so bad in her life that makes her such a miserable bitch?? I mean even if you take away her money.. She still has good looks.. Things aren't that bad for her... It's not like she's Joy Behar. She's gotta chill... Life's too short.. Maybe she should try hating on stuff.. Its a good release.

I gotta go..Keeping it short for those of you that hated on ME yesterday!! You know who you are.

HATE DEBATE: Tiniest Turd

iWe just have to say-looking at E from Entourage...not only makes us hate it makes us ANGRY. Doesn't every midget move he makes on the show drive you nuts? Well it does to us. That brings us to his opponent: America's #1 skell Aaron Carter. This skinny dirtbag not only lacks all singing skills, but also had the balls to try and dance. Yo Nick, keep your little brother in his cage and stop starving him. Ok haters, who do you want to punch in the face more? Let the battle begin...

On the Wings of Pavelka

FIRST AND FORESMOST, I ASK YOU TO PLEASE COPY AND PASTE THIS LINK IN A SEPARATE WINDOW AND TURN YOUR SPEAKERS UP WHILE READING...

http://popup.lala.com/popup/432627086508956926

Breaking news.... St Lucia was hit by a massive tsunami last night!!! Oh wait.. That was just all the tears shed by the many different characters on the Bachelor last night.. But my favorite crier of them all had to be Jake's dad. It didn't take much to get the waterworks going on that guy now did it? By the way, did the airlines lose that guys luggage? Because he was sporting a serious child predator outfit complete with pale white chicken legs and all.. No one in their right mind who knew they were going to be on TV would dress like that.. NO ONE.

Well its official.. Meet the newest member of the Pavelka clan.. Vienna "Why the Long Face" Girardi.. She survived the women in the house.. She survived ABC's failed attemts to create her as "the bad girl", and last but certainly not least, she survived the wrath of the Pavelka women. And whats her prize? A lifetime with Jake "Mr. Dateless" Pavelka! I have a question for the women out there though.. Did anyone notice when Jake's sister in law asked Vienna if the shirt made her look fat, and Vienna answered, "a little, just kidding"?? Last time I checked, doesn't that question command an immediate response of, "NO!!!!" regardless of the circumstances?? Has this rule changed? Because if it did, I'd like to know.
Well good for her, because from the looks of it she landed in a family where the women wear the pants. Those Pavelka men don't have much to say, do they?


Did you guys notice that Vienna must have had a major wedgie while they were in the mud pond?? At one point she was standing with her back facing the camera, and there was a purple blur inserted over her butt in order to conceal too much cheek exposure.. ABC thought they were being slick, but I caught it...WEDGIE ALERT!!!!!

Now as for Tenley "tiny dancer" Molzahn, As Jake was giving her the boot, I couldn't help but wondering.... When Jake looked at her miserable crying face, he must have been happy about the decision he made.. Is it me, or did her face transform from a happy little cute girl to a shrunken little demon child when she realized she was getting the heave-ho? If I were Jake, I would have left her in the dance studio after her one on one performance. That was one of the most akward moments in television this year...Hey at least she gave it her all.. Coming in 2nd place in most akward moments would have to be her begginng Jake at the end.... "Why do you have to say goodbye?? why do you have to say goodbye???" Oh my god..

Well at least she has something else to talk about now other than her husband cheating on her.. Boy I feel bad for her next guy.. She's got more baggage than the fellas over at Samsonite.

I guess Jake really needs to be able to "play rough" huh?? That was a wierd convo he had with his mom about how wild and crazy he likes to be.. Guess what... 2 things.. 1. Pushing your brother in the pool doesn't make you wild and crazy.. 2. You're not allowed to say that YOU are wild and crazy.. That makes YOU not wild. That makes YOU not crazy..


So where does the Bachelor go from here??? Don't worry people.. Just when you thought you saw the last of Pavelka and his million dollar smile, He'll be around for the latest season of Dancing with the Stars, which by the way I will be calling "Dancing with Pavelka"..

So to you Mr. Dateless, I have this to say.. We're not done here.. Keep it coming.. I'm sure you'll provide us all with a lot of material on the dance floor.

I gotta go. I have to say goodbye Tenley.

A DHN EXCLUSIVE!!!!

We here at the Daily Hater have been investigating around the clock to bring you this breaking news.. It turns out that the reality show "Frank the Entertainer in a Basement Affair" is --get ready for this-- NOT REAL!!!!I was informed by a reliable source who went to school with him that they didnt think she was from Brooklyn.. So after looking into it, it turns out my source was right.. he's from upstate NY.. So I ask myself, why would VH1 go through all the trouble to make it as if he were from Brooklyn? I'll tell you why.. 1. Upstate NY sucks. What is he going to take the girls on a date to his favorite shitty gas station/greasy spoon? 2. Italians are a hot commodity these days.. On the heels of "the Jersey Shore", it seems like audiences love Italians right now, so why not stage it in BK, where the rest of the country imagines the streets are paved with ziti. So here's my question.. Why do they make it like he's going to his favorite spots? His favorite pizza place, his favorite hangout... He must put a lot of miles on his car every time he wants his favorite pepperoni slice.. And whats up with that house.. They fake like his parents are sooooooooo ginzo that there's Italian flags all over, and plastic slip covers on the couch.. Please.. So basically these girls are fighting over some guy who not only lives in his parents basement, but he lives in an UPSTATE basement... What a catch.. Good luck girls.


Speaking of Italians.. The Jersey Shore cast was on The View the other day.. Joy Behar laced into them like they were criminals.. I wondered why a woman who I thought was Jewish was so into Italian rights and so concerned about the defamation of Italians.. Turns out she's actually an Italian (Josephine Occhiuto)who married a Jewish guy, got divorced 15 years later and kept the Jewish name... Very proud..Anyway, besides that, I did some investigating.. So Josephine, who thinks the whole guido act the Jersey Shore kids are portraying is so horrible, has a comedy special from the early 80's that starts with a skit where we meet her family.... Guess what.. they're in a deli..IN BROOKLYN.. And they are characters representing every Italian stereotype you've ever heard. A guy wearing a necklace made of sausage links and an off the boat mother who keeps fainting because her daughter is leaving.. Now I ask you people... whats worse?? The Jersey Shore kids being themselves and being filmed for TV, or Joy Behar writing A SCRIPT showing every Italian stereotype 20 years ago, then being a complete hypocrite by treating the Jersey Shore kids like garbage on her show. Shame on you Joy.. shame on you.

Before I go, here's a funny story about hating gone wrong. I've never been a fan of Michael Chiklis.. You know that guy from "The Shield"?? He's another one of these guys I don't buy as a tough guy. He's about 5'2. Anyway, I happened to be talking about him at work one day and how I would kick his ass if I ever saw him, just to prove he's not tough.. No joke, 2 days later I'm about to get out of the elevator, the doors open, and he's standing right there.. MICHAEL CHIKLIS!!! Well, he must have saw my shocked face and mistook it for being star struck, so he pats me on the chest and, as nice as could be, says "hey whats up buddy!!" And I came right back at him with a big, "Hey!"... Hatin gone wrong...

Tonight is the Pavelka finale. Which means we should have a lot of good stuff to write about tomorrow morning..

I gotta go.