On the Wings of Pavelka

FIRST AND FORESMOST, I ASK YOU TO PLEASE COPY AND PASTE THIS LINK IN A SEPARATE WINDOW AND TURN YOUR SPEAKERS UP WHILE READING...

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Breaking news.... St Lucia was hit by a massive tsunami last night!!! Oh wait.. That was just all the tears shed by the many different characters on the Bachelor last night.. But my favorite crier of them all had to be Jake's dad. It didn't take much to get the waterworks going on that guy now did it? By the way, did the airlines lose that guys luggage? Because he was sporting a serious child predator outfit complete with pale white chicken legs and all.. No one in their right mind who knew they were going to be on TV would dress like that.. NO ONE.

Well its official.. Meet the newest member of the Pavelka clan.. Vienna "Why the Long Face" Girardi.. She survived the women in the house.. She survived ABC's failed attemts to create her as "the bad girl", and last but certainly not least, she survived the wrath of the Pavelka women. And whats her prize? A lifetime with Jake "Mr. Dateless" Pavelka! I have a question for the women out there though.. Did anyone notice when Jake's sister in law asked Vienna if the shirt made her look fat, and Vienna answered, "a little, just kidding"?? Last time I checked, doesn't that question command an immediate response of, "NO!!!!" regardless of the circumstances?? Has this rule changed? Because if it did, I'd like to know.
Well good for her, because from the looks of it she landed in a family where the women wear the pants. Those Pavelka men don't have much to say, do they?


Did you guys notice that Vienna must have had a major wedgie while they were in the mud pond?? At one point she was standing with her back facing the camera, and there was a purple blur inserted over her butt in order to conceal too much cheek exposure.. ABC thought they were being slick, but I caught it...WEDGIE ALERT!!!!!

Now as for Tenley "tiny dancer" Molzahn, As Jake was giving her the boot, I couldn't help but wondering.... When Jake looked at her miserable crying face, he must have been happy about the decision he made.. Is it me, or did her face transform from a happy little cute girl to a shrunken little demon child when she realized she was getting the heave-ho? If I were Jake, I would have left her in the dance studio after her one on one performance. That was one of the most akward moments in television this year...Hey at least she gave it her all.. Coming in 2nd place in most akward moments would have to be her begginng Jake at the end.... "Why do you have to say goodbye?? why do you have to say goodbye???" Oh my god..

Well at least she has something else to talk about now other than her husband cheating on her.. Boy I feel bad for her next guy.. She's got more baggage than the fellas over at Samsonite.

I guess Jake really needs to be able to "play rough" huh?? That was a wierd convo he had with his mom about how wild and crazy he likes to be.. Guess what... 2 things.. 1. Pushing your brother in the pool doesn't make you wild and crazy.. 2. You're not allowed to say that YOU are wild and crazy.. That makes YOU not wild. That makes YOU not crazy..


So where does the Bachelor go from here??? Don't worry people.. Just when you thought you saw the last of Pavelka and his million dollar smile, He'll be around for the latest season of Dancing with the Stars, which by the way I will be calling "Dancing with Pavelka"..

So to you Mr. Dateless, I have this to say.. We're not done here.. Keep it coming.. I'm sure you'll provide us all with a lot of material on the dance floor.

I gotta go. I have to say goodbye Tenley.