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What do you get when you mix 12 delusional actors with a horrible script and throw in Ashton Kutcher??

You get VALENTINE'S DAY!!!! Wow.. Never in my life have I seen anything even remotely close to being this bad. That's what happens when you get a star studded cast full of people who are famous, not for their talent, but for hype and physical appearance..

OK I know I shouldn't take a romantic "comedy" too seriously to begin with, but come on... The problem with this movie is that when each character is on the screen, they act like they're doing you a favor..

Someone needs to tell Ashton Kutcher that he's not still 20 years old, and that goofy idiot thing doesn't work anymore..Maybe his mom/wife Demi can tell him. It's like watching Urkel in the later episodes of "Family Matters", or Screech in "Saved by the Bell: The College Years".

From here on out I'm going to live by a new policy... Avoid any movie with Topher Grace in it. I think that will help me cut down some of the crap I see.

Here's a bonus trivia question.. What is Topher short for?? Prepare to cringe as you find out the answer..

Speaking of stupid names.. This is something I've always hated.. The "singer" Willa Ford.. Her real name is Amanda Willaford. So basically she got her stage name by splitting her last name in two. Oye.

The legacy of "The Karate Kid" has been put in a body bag. One of the true great movies of the 80's is being remade and due out sometime this summer. Well, there goes that memory. With Jackie Chan as Mr. Myagi, and Will Smith's prematurely douchey son as the main character, this movie sucks before it's even been released. The original was good because it was not only a great karate movie, but it was a great high school movie..

What's this new piece of crap gonna be without William Zabka, ELizabeth Shue and Chad McQueen, known better as Johnny, Alli, and Dutch?????

I leave you with a few memorable Quotes..
Fear does not exist in this dojo does it?? --NO SENSEI!!
Pain does not exist in this dojo does it?? --NO SENSEI!!
Defeat does not exist in this dojo does it?? --NO SENSEI!!
STRIKE FIRST. STRIKE HARD. NO MERCY SIR!!!!

I gotta go.. Sweep the leg.